From Sister Wendy in Conversation with Bill
Moyers: The Complete Conversation (1997)
(Here's the link: YouTube page with all six sections of the complete 60-minutes video.)
Wendy discusses her prayer practice and her practice of deep looking at
art.
(From ‘Early Life and
Being a Nun’)
Sister Wendy - . . . . it took me some time to realize
that I had to integrate Wendy, the real Wendy, that silly creature, with my
religious life, because what God wanted was me, not a pretend-me. .. . . .
Bill Moyers - When
you took that step, when you said, “I’m giving myself to God,” what exactly did
you think you were doing?
Sister Wendy - I
thought I was setting myself into a context in which God could take possession
of me in a way I had not been free to let him do before. If I had been
different, he could’ve done it always, but I was so weak that I needed that
orderly set-up. You know, that’s the sign of a good vocation: you need it. Not
that you want it, but this is a life that you actually need if you are to be
fully human.
(From ‘The
Contemplative Life’ – some sections below are not included on the video.)
Bill Moyers: - Tell
me what life is under those circumstances [living
in her trailer on the grounds of the convent]. What do you do every day?
Sister Wendy - Well,
I pray a lot. I mean, basically, that’s what I do. I pray. I live in the
sunshine of God’s presence. It’s absolute bliss!
. . . . .
Bill Moyers - What
form does that prayer take?
Sister Wendy - Well,
no form, really. I just let God shine upon me, without words or images or
thoughts. I think all that matters in prayer is that we should want God to take
possession of us. And if that wanting is deep enough, then anything we feel we
want to do in prayer will work. I don’t think that there’s any sort of set
forms. Occasionally, I’ve sung a bit, making up words to God. But, otherwise,
there are no words and no images. I just stay there.
(a bit further in the
interview)
Bill Moyers - . . . I think people are curious about how many
hours a day you spend in this contemplation, and what happens to you in the
process?
Sister Wendy - Well,
I feel it’s God’s process, that God is more me than I am. And that what goes on
is God’s business. My business is just to be attentive to Him, just to be
waiting for God, God to be what he wants.
Bill Moyers - There’s
no petition. You’re not supplicating. You’re not. . .
Sister Wendy - No.
Bill Moyers - You’re
just there?
Sister Wendy - Well,
if an idea came into my head to supplicate, I would, but it doesn’t usually.
I’m just there and completely content. I’m not to know what is happening,
because it’s God’s business.
Bill Moyers - And
how many hours a day do you do this?
Sister Wendy - About
seven hours.
(Later in interview, from
section on Sister Wendy’s instructions on how to look at art.)
Bill Moyers – You
talk about surrendering to the wonder of the story. What do you mean by that,
“surrendering”?
Sister Wendy - . .
. it means that you’re not going to have labels, you’re not going to defend
yourself by the ramparts of your own ego, you’re going to open yourself to what
this has to give you, and that’s not easy to do.
Bill Moyers – So
when you ask me to give myself, to surrender to a work of art, what are you
asking me to do?
Sister Wendy – I’m
asking you to let this work speak to you without you setting up preconditions,
without you, in any way, defending the fragility of your ego, because works of
art can often teach us things about ourselves we would rather not know. They’re
going to take you into another’s vision, only to bring you back to your own
truth. The art will increase your own integrity, which is something, perhaps,
that people only may be paying lip service to desiring.
Bill Moyers – I’m
not sure what you mean by that, “it increases your own integrity.”
Sister Wendy –
Well, our desire should be that we are men and women of integrity, of truth,
that we are what we were meant to be, with nothing fake about us. Now, art is a
great tester of the fake, because it must be the real you that responds. And
the more the real you dares to respond, the more the real you is there. You’re
exercising the muscles of your own individuality, as opposed to your ego.
. . . . .
Bill Moyers - What
does, has art done for you, other than make you an international celerity,
which you didn’t want to be? What has art done
for you? What has art done for you?
Sister Wendy - Well,
I suppose it’s given me enormous joy. It’s also increased my capacity to accept
darkness and pain, and not be too bewildered by them. It has, I hope, made me a
more sensitive and alert person. The one fatal thing is to be a zombie. And I
think we’re all in danger of living part of our lives at zombie level. But I
think art helps one to be perpetually there,
as it were.
Bill Moyers “There”
is?
Sister Wendy - There,
alert, constant.
Bill Moyers - In
the moment?
Sister Wendy - Yes,
in the moment, because God’s coming every moment, but we’re not receiving Him
every moment; of course, we’re not even noticing that He’s coming. We’re
drifting through. Well, you see, in art you can’t just drift; art is demanding
of your attention. And I would hope that it helps me to be a more attentive
person all the way.
Prompt:
Dig back in your memory and
think of a time when you discovered a practice that helped you to be more
attentive and “perpetually there,” alert
and alive as opposed to being a zombie – a practice that has made a real
difference in your life. Tell us the story of how you came to this practice.
Feel free to mention any effects this practice has had on your life or work.
Soul Feast: An
Invitation to the Christian Spiritual Life, Marjorie J. Thomas (often used
in seminary courses)
Listening
Spirituality, Volume 1: Personal Spiritual Practices Among Friends,
Patricia Loring
(often used in Spiritual Nurture programs among Friends)
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